Scared

Yesterday I got evaluated by a lady who works with Children's Hospital. It went terribly: I am dehydrated, low heart beat (42 beats per minute), ketones in urine, anxiety diorder, and depression. I have anorexia with purge subtype also known as EDNOS (Eating diorder not otherwise specified), great right? My stomach keeps growling and I'm so hungry , but I can't eat. The muscles in my body are starting to deteriorate and I really could care less, I'm happy about it. On Monday I may have to be admitted to inpatient treatment for 2-4 weeks (it'll be hell). I'll probably end up slipping right back into it just like before. Honestly, I think I'd rather die than have food shoved into my face. I weigh 121, I don't want to gain it all back. I'm not allowed to write when I go there and this may be my last post for a while. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

So long,
        Maxine</3

Numbers

Sorry I havn't posted in a while. Good news though, I've been eating nuts and running three miles everyday. At the moment I weigh 123.2, that is the least I have weighed in two years!!!! I am so happy. Goodbye recovery weight, I'm throwing you in the trash, HA!